When Only One Partner Wants Children

Many desires and differences in opinion in marriage can be resolved with compromises. One aspect of your partnership that usually cannot be addressed through compromise, however, is whether or not to have children. Even if you and your partner had discussions about children before marriage, feelings and desires can change over time. Conflict arises when one person is ready to have a baby and the other is not.

Resolving Differences about Having Children

The partner who is hesitant to have a baby may cite issues such as finances and their career situation. These concerns can sometimes be external resistances that mask fear or other internal struggles. The partner who is eager to have a baby may bring up biological reproductive limits. Oftentimes, when one partner is suddenly desperate for a baby, it reveals a desire to resolve a problematic marriage through parenting. A partner may assume that having a baby will help bring about trust or intimacy that is lacking in the relationship. No matter the circumstances, partners should:

  • Look far into the future, rather than focusing on the present
  • Be honest with themselves and their partner about their desires
  • Acknowledge the finality of this type of decision
  • Ask yourself and your partner why you do or don’t want children
  • Seek help from a professional counselor

Deciding to have a baby is one of the biggest decisions a couple can make. If conflict plays a part in the decision, it can put serious strain on a marriage.

Consult with a Marriage Counselor in Austin

If you and your partner are in disagreement about whether to have children, you should seek support from an experienced counselor. Austin marriage counselor Kathleen Snyder can help you and your partner through this difficult conflict and help resolve the strain it puts on your marriage. Call her office at 512-659-8600 to schedule a consultation.