Is Intimacy All But Gone?

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Has sex disappeared from your relationship? Or has it become all too infrequent?  There are many misbeliefs surrounding sex in marriage, many of which are destructive.

Usually the problem with sex is that one partner is inclined to experience closeness by being sexual, while the other has become reluctant or disinterested.  Often the later needs to feel emotionally close in order to have sex and achieves that emotional closeness through talking, shared activities, or getting their To Do List off their mind.  While sex can be an important component of a loving union, it is not the only factor. A marriage’s overall success is the result of the love you share and your happiness together. When other relationship issues are addressed, sex often falls back into place.  Those issues may include:

  • Medical issues
  • Stress/Anxiety
  • Bad communication
  • Changing body image
  • A new baby
  • Conflict
  • Financial worries

Most of these issues can be worked out over time, or couples can make adjustments to their perceptions of gratifying sexual activity if there are permanent medical complications. Learning how and when to talk about your sexual relationship, so that both of you are satisfied, can make this part of your marriage vital again.

Remember, while sex is a good way to show physical attraction and closeness, it is not the only way. Your bond will not disappear just because your sex life has slowed down. Nevertheless, these issues are important and deserve attention when they arise.

If you and your spouse are working through issues of decreased libido or other sexual issues, a certified marriage counselor may be able to help you communicate effectively and resolve your differences. Call Marriage Like New at (512)-659-8600 and talk to Kathleen Snyder to schedule an appointment. She is an experienced marriage counselor with over 20 years specializing in couples therapy.